T.R.A.N.S. Resource Site

This site is in its very beginning stages, but I still can’t even articulate how awesome it already is. Seriously, this is the blog that my blog wants to be when it grows up, except more ally-focused. T.R.A.N.S.—that’s “Transgender Resources And Needed Support”— is “an internet-based effort to gather information pertaining to all populations of the transgender community.” The main page has updates about the site and may soon be featuring trans-related news stories. Already cool, right? That’s not the awesome part.

On the sidebar are links to pages about clothing, hormones, centers and clinics, support groups, and more. Each of these pages offers a list of organizations and websites dedicated to helping trans people with that particular thing. There are packer/padding retailers and used binder drives and a list of “wellness-related services” in all their forms. This is pretty fantastic, but it’s still not the most awesome part.

Tabs after these provide lists of resources that don’t necessarily have to do with transitioning. Many of us know of a non-profit or two that we can reach out to in times of trouble; it looks like this site is hoping to compile an extensive nation-wide list of them. You may also have a favorite blog, book, YouTube channel, magazine, etc. about trans issues; this site lists those too! Thus, the awesome-est part: all of this is in ONE place.

Like I said, it’s still just starting, but so far I think it’s pretty impressive. It’s really user-friendly, and that’s saying something coming from me, and it has something for EVERYONE—or, it will, once you get over there and submit the resources you think are missing!

Excuses Excuses: Suicide Prevention

There are two things I could pass my clear failure to keep my promise on. The first is my dead laptop charger, which I couldn’t afford to replace until recently. The second is the fact I have hit a rocky spot in my personal life (which DOES exist, you know), and ultimately came pretty close to dying myself.

Suicide is a huge problem in the GLBTQ community. Statistically, queer (gay/lesbian/bisexual etc) youth are four times more likely to attempt it than heterosexual youth. Transgender youth often have even less places to turn, and arguably even more isolation and confusion to deal with; thus, trans youth are even more at risk. In fact, I don’t think I know more than a couple transgender people who have never seriously considered suicide. It’s depressing, but that’s the reality.

Suicide comes from feeling helpless and hopeless, which is why transgender allies like us can be so important; we provide that help and hope. It’s tempting to pass off a comment about suicide as a joke or a moment of melodrama; everyone wants an excuse not to believe that the person is serious. Even really fantastic people, or people with counseling training, don’t want to admit that someone they love could be struggling. Trust me. I know.

Luckily, Suicide Prevention programs and hotlines exist EVERYWHERE. The first, and most well-known, 24/7 Suicide Prevention Hotline for GLBTQ youth is called the Trevor Project. The project was born from a short film, called Trevor, about a suicidal gay boy; the creators used the money from the film to start a resource to help people in Trevor’s position. Phone counselors go through 40+ hours of training and can be reached at ANY time at 1-866-488-7386. The website, www.thetrevorproject.org, has plenty of other resources too!

It’s scary, but not impossible, to help someone who’s contemplating suicide—but the first and hardest step is to admit that it’s a possibility. Don’t look for excuses to shy away from the word or the person; ask outright, and keep checking in. Chances are, just having someone to talk to frankly will help that person dramatically. But remember too that YOU are not a professional—so after that initial conversation, be sure to get outside help for that person. Call the Trevor Project, or if it’s a real emergency, 911. Ze may be mad at you for a day or two, but ultimately, ze’ll thank you for saving hir life. Trust me.

So What's Intersex Mean?

In the last post, I mentioned the term “intersex.” While this term is thrown around a lot, it’s largely misunderstood. The intersex community is sometimes overlooked even by the bigger transgender community to which it theoretically belongs. Is it because an intersex (or “intersexed”, I’ve heard both terms used as adjectives) person was simply “born that way,” while many transfolk have to rearrange everything in their lives in order to live openly? Not EVERYONE in the trans community overlooks the “I” in GLBTI, of course, but it’s a phenomenon worth noticing.

Being intersex technically has nothing to do with gender identity; it is a term that applies purely to a person’s physical, biological body. There are several ways to be classified as intersex, which is really more of an umbrella term than anything else—just like “transgender” is. Sometimes, people are considered intersex because they have a different chromosome set than males (XY) and females (XX). Most common is Klinefelter’s Syndrome, which occurs when a ‘male’ has an extra X chromosome. It’s more common than you’d think; you can’t trust everything you read on Wikipedia, but the article suggests one out of 500 males is born with an extra sex chromosome.

Other times, a person is declared intersex because ze has ambiguous genitalia or reproductive organs. Although it’s not very carefully tracked, it’s estimated that one out of every two thousand children are born with some physical traits that are male while other traits are female. Doctors sometimes choose to “fix” this ambiguousness at birth with surgery in the hopes that the baby will be able to grow up “normal.” Of course, if this actually worked, we wouldn’t know about it! There are several published cases—and certainly many more private ones—in which a child was born intersex, operated on, and carefully raised as a gender-conforming boy or girl. Often, this child grows up to come out as transgender or genderqueer later in life. You can read about several of these cases here, courtesy of Cosmos Magazine.

Not all intersex people grow up to be gender-variant. Does everyone remember Caster Semenya from the Olympics last year? Semenya’s sex was called into question based on hir impressive performance; multiple tests revealed that Semenya did indeed have an intersex condition.

For more information, check out this article by Alice Dreger that appeared on Fathermag.com. It explains some things better than I could!

TDOR 2009

It’s that time of year again. In just a couple days, Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremonies and activities will be taking place everywhere. This is probably the most depressing queer action/activism day ever, but it’s something that many transfolk and their allies view as important and necessary, and consequently, take very seriously.

Transgender Day of Remembrance—TDOR for short—is a day that focuses on transgender people who lost their lives because of prejudice. Every year, an untold number of unique gender-variant lives are lost because of bigotry. Sometimes, people are victims of hate crimes; other times, they take their own lives because they are victims of depression, bullying, harassment, sexual assault, violence, or other forms of hatred. Other times, the death is a long, horrifying story; for example, some transgender people have died due to complications with AIDS after being refused treatment from several medical facilities based on their gender identities and presentations. Being transgender in itself is NOT DANGEROUS; hatred is.

The point of TDOR is to honor the unique lives that were cut short by hatred, and also to protest the fact that we lose human lives for such a ridiculous thing as transphobia in the first place. TDOR events come in many forms, but all of them incorporate a way to remember the people who died unnecessarily in the past year. My college gay-straight alliance is going to hold a “die-in” in our school cafeteria in order to raise awareness of the issue during the day; at night, we are going to hold a Reading of the Names Ceremony. During this Ceremony, participants spend a moment in the shoes of those that have been lost, reading their life—and death—stories in the first person aloud in front of everyone. The experience is very powerful for everyone attending, especially the reader. These are two activities that are widely used in many organizations’ versions of TDOR events.

Chances are, you can find a TDOR event near you using the internet. TDOR is generally held in late November order to honor Rita Hester, a 1998 hate crimes victim, but there are TDOR events on many different days. Look for a way to get involved and for more information—and of course, if you care to share your story, you can do so on this blog!

2009 names list.
TDOR info, courtesy of Connecticut’s Transadvocacy Organization.

TLDEF Benefit for the Name Change Project

The Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) is dedicated to helping transfolk achieve equality. TLDEF seeks to end discrimination against transgender people, and works on everything from national healthcare to fighting employment discrimination to individual legal cases. TLDEF creatively forms partnerships with other legal groups in order to offer helpful programs that many transgender individuals would not have access to otherwise.

One such project is the Name Change Project, which provides free legal name changes to transgender people who cannot afford it. As many of us know, changing one’s legal name is a huge step for a person who is transitioning. Many transgender people spend months or even years living with a new name, and getting the legal recognition of that new identity allows that identity to be acknowledged in ways that it was not before. A driver’s licenses, employment applications, etc. must show one’s legal name, which can sometimes be a painful or embarrassing topic for a transgender person.

Getting one’s friends and family members to embrace a new name is hard enough; legally changing one’s name involves courts, judges, and fees that are intimidating at best. The Name Change Project provides free lawyers for transgender people seeking legal name changes, and will even pay for the name change fee if the person is unable. At the moment, this great resource is only available in New York; hopefully, the Name Change Project or similar initiatives will become available in other areas soon!

Every year, TLDEF holds a Benefit to help raise funds for programs such as the Name Change Project, which has helped over 250 people since its beginnings almost two years ago. The benefit is to be held at the Vlada Lounge in New York City on June 16th. Join TLDEF for cocktails and conversation in order to raise money for the Project!

The cheapest ticket you can buy is $25, the “fixed income” price. Those of us who make minimum wage might find this cost of admission to a cocktail social a bit steep, but remember, the money is going to a terrific cause.

Even if you can’t get to the benefit, it’s good to know that resources like this are out there for our transgender friends, children, lovers and family members!