The Sex Binary

Someone posted this picture on Facebook, and someone else mentioned a news story about a family raising their infant without any gender assignments, “and not telling friends/family if the newest baby is male or female.” So of course I opened my mouth to politely point out that “the baby might not be male or female in the first place, don’t forget!” Just to say it, because sometimes there has to be someone to stand up against accidental ignorance. Which is perfectly okay; no one can know everything about everything.

Of course, this person thought they did know things, and said the “whole point” of the diagram is that sex—which is male or female—is separate from gender. And online I nicely explained that some people don’t fit either category at birth, like intersex people for example, and that “the idea that there are only two physical sexes is a common misconception,” and suggested a documentary or something… but in my room I was like *headdesk headdesk headdesk*.

Because I knew what was coming, and come it did: “anyone born with a vagina is female, and with a penis is male… unless he/she is a hermaphrodite.” And then I got aggravated and pulled apart everything—that some people transition, that some DO use sex words to describe their genders, that “hermaphrodite” isn’t really PC or sensitive, that saying “he/she” further undermines anyone who doesn’t fit the binary, etc. Still politely, and then I politely excused myself before the friend whose page it was got overly tired of us both. And maybe I didn’t get all the terms right either (no one can know everything!), but I feel like I’d be open to someone telling me about a new one. I feel like that’s all we can, and do, ask for; be open to someone telling you that there’s more to the story than you learned in high school biology or psychology.

IN SHORT: gender is only half the battle. The idea that there is an either-or SEX binary overlooks hundreds of people and is the root of the problematic belief that there is an either-or GENDER binary in the first place. In reality neither of these is true and it’s time we start including EVERYONE in our everyday language.

Fox News Attacks Chaz Bono

I saw this on a friend’s facebook earlier today and was floored. Really? Still? The article is horribly judgmental—talking about medical transitions as “bending reality to conform to a person’s psychosis.” Granted this is an opinion held by many, but to see it in a “news” article is something else entirely. Of course, it’s FOX news, which isn’t exactly news in the first place. Regardless of where it is, articles like this can really hurt the trans cause and community. This article is TOTALLY missing the entire social experience of being transgender and totally overlooking the fact that gender is not an either-or binary mandated by sex—otherwise ALL women would dress the exact same way. No doubt Dr. Ablow skipped a few sessions of his Intro to Sociology courses in college.

I guess the occassional reminder of how much stupid there is in the world helps us focus on what has to be done…? Trying to be optimistic here.

Another thing you can do as a trans ally— write in to places that publish pieces like this and tell them just how wrong they are!

Professional Sports Team-- "It Gets Better"

The San Francisco Giants are going to be the first professional sports team to make an “It Gets Better” video. That’s the baseball team that won the World Series—I didn’t know either, I just know people who like sports or something. Apparently there was a change.org petition circulating requesting the team to be the first to make a video—but, publicists assure us, they were already planning on it anyway.
So yeah. Story here!

"How to Make Love to a Trans Person" by Gabe Moses

I stumbled across this on Tumblr... it's very sexual content, so don't read it if that's not something you're interested in. But if you are, enjoy; it's very honest, frank, real, affirming, and I think just plain pretty overall.


Forget the images you’ve learned to attach
To words like cock and clit,
Chest and breasts.
Break those words open
Like a paramedic cracking ribs
To pump blood through a failing heart.
Push your hands inside.
Get them messy.
Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.
Make up new words.
Call it a click or a ditto.
Call it the sound he makes
When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,
When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth
And every cell in his body is breathing.
Make the arch of her back a language
Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae
When they catch pools of sweat
Like rainwater in a row of paper cups
Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine
So every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skin
Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient
Even though it’s highly likely that you are.
Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”
Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt
If you are being offered a body
That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel
A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies
That come with some assembly required
Whatever you do,
Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape
Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue
Looks almost natural.

If she offers you breastbone
Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches
Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra
Than the flesh that rises to meet it
Let her ripen in your hands.
Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,
Diabetes,
A car accident instead of an accident of genetics
Would you think of her as less a woman then?
Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle
Reaching toward you when you kiss him
Like it wants to go deep enough inside you
To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart
Hold it as if it can-
In your hand, in your mouth
Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.
Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,
You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are
They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts
And honestly, they can barely contain us
We strain at their seams with every breath we take
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts
Even if we tried.
That’s the important part.
Don’t worry about the bodies.
They’ve got this.

Professor Fired For Being Trans-- You Can Help!

The story is that an English professor at Southeastern Oklahoma State University has not only been denied tenure, but has also been fired, for being a transwoman. When I first saw this I was hoping it wasn’t true, but I’ve done some googling and it appears to be legitimate.

According to the available articles (one here, news story here), the VP of Academic Affairs denied a faculty suggestion to grant tenure for the first time, and the University President refused to honor a unanimous decision made by the faculty committee that votes on such affairs. At the time the story was posted, the administration (who has allegedly made transphobic remarks before) had refused to meet with Professor Rachel Tudor in person.

I love English. I love academia. I love the trans community. So I’m like, oh no you didn’t.

* Sign the petition
* Write her a letter of support: rtudor@se.edu
* Write University President Dr. Larry Minks a polite letter urging him to overcome transphobia and give Professor Tudor a fair tenure hearing: lminks@se.edu
* Send that same letter to the Oklahoma State Regents for Higher Education (try addressing to Chancellor Glen D. John): communicationsdepartment@osrhe.edu

That’s right, readers mine, I creeped on them so you wouldn’t have to. BUT PLEASE WRITE AND SIGN TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT! If you want, I’ll post my own letters—all you have to do is tweak a sentence or two and sign and send.

Labor Department: Gender Identity A Protected Status

Pretties. I have so much homework to do. I need to stop internetting. But let me leave you with this news story I stumbled across entirely by accident. Apparently, the US Department of Labor has added gender identity to its list of protected statuses. You know—Such-and-Such Company does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, and so on. Now, at least for them, that list includes “gender identity.” I know the big push in CT has been to add the phrase “gender identity and expression” into policy, so that you cannot be fired for, say, breaking dress code, if you dress to express the gender you identify with. Does it hurt to take the word ‘expression’ out? I’m probably reading too much into this. English major, you know.

So yeah. Cool stuff. Everybody go apply to the Labor Department.

T.R.A.N.S. Resource Site

This site is in its very beginning stages, but I still can’t even articulate how awesome it already is. Seriously, this is the blog that my blog wants to be when it grows up, except more ally-focused. T.R.A.N.S.—that’s “Transgender Resources And Needed Support”— is “an internet-based effort to gather information pertaining to all populations of the transgender community.” The main page has updates about the site and may soon be featuring trans-related news stories. Already cool, right? That’s not the awesome part.

On the sidebar are links to pages about clothing, hormones, centers and clinics, support groups, and more. Each of these pages offers a list of organizations and websites dedicated to helping trans people with that particular thing. There are packer/padding retailers and used binder drives and a list of “wellness-related services” in all their forms. This is pretty fantastic, but it’s still not the most awesome part.

Tabs after these provide lists of resources that don’t necessarily have to do with transitioning. Many of us know of a non-profit or two that we can reach out to in times of trouble; it looks like this site is hoping to compile an extensive nation-wide list of them. You may also have a favorite blog, book, YouTube channel, magazine, etc. about trans issues; this site lists those too! Thus, the awesome-est part: all of this is in ONE place.

Like I said, it’s still just starting, but so far I think it’s pretty impressive. It’s really user-friendly, and that’s saying something coming from me, and it has something for EVERYONE—or, it will, once you get over there and submit the resources you think are missing!