Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Uh-Oh... Holidays.

When someone comes out as transgender, the family freaks out. This is fact even if everyone in your family is also transgender… which pretty much has never happened in the history of the world. Anyway, fact is, there’s a LOT of things that go through family members’ minds when they get news like this—and lots of it has little to do with the actual transgender person. Is this person gay now? Do I need to use a new name or pronoun? Will everyone else use it? Should I let this person talk to my kids about this change? What will my friends think? How are we supposed to act during the next family get-together? Lots of these questions seem superficial to the rest of us, but they’re very real, and often very pressing, for the people they are occurring to.

The gender binary is a staple for many families’ versions of holiday get-togethers. If your family is like mine, all the “men” hang out in the living room insulting one another’s wives and politics while all of the “women” work on the food and compare the accomplishments of their children… while everyone under twenty-five is confined to the porch. Gender plays a big role in the family, but I promise you: people have gotten through their family get-togethers with a transgender family member or guest in the past, and YOU CAN TOO.

You’ve got options. Say your brother is now your sister, but has always spent the holiday in the masculine-designated section of the house. Why stop now? You can also embrace the binary and convince your sister to hang out with the women for the first time. Or, you can try something totally different; pick a non-gendered space, like the den or dining room, to hang out in, and encourage everyone in the house to spend time with you—a board game or snack may help with this. No matter the strategy you take, it’s not a bad idea to stay with her to provide a quick subject-change or exit strategy if things go awry. You never know though; your family just may surprise you.

The first time your family meets the new version of your relative/guest is going to be a bit awkward; that’s pretty much a fact. The second fact is that you are still family, and as awkward and annoying and insensitive as they may be at times—or almost always—there’s still that family connection, and that still means something.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Tough Parts

Being a trans ally, or “Transgender Defender” if you’re feeling super-hero-y about it, isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s awkward, or alienating—you can’t explain your feelings to people who embrace the binary, but you can’t truly relate to the transfolk who utterly reject it either. In fact, being a trans ally can be downright depressing sometimes.

Say you’re dating a transgender person, and all your friends freak out because you’re no longer adhering to their definitions of ‘gay’ or ‘straight’—a dichotomy based on gender. Say your parents freak out because they don’t think you’ll ever have children. Or, say your aunts and uncles don’t let you near your baby cousins because you might somehow destroy them. That part’s my favorite.

Say you’re related to a transgender person, and the rest of the family starts whispering behind your back. Wondering why you’re so supportive of the perversity, as they see it, wondering what it is you have to gain from making all of them feel so awkward. Trashing you because you’re not united against the problem like the rest of the family; you’re not helping to find a solution.

Say you’re just friendly with a transgender person, and your friends and family all worry that you might decide you’re going to change your appearance or even body, too. Say you get shunned because no one wants to be associated with someone, who associates with someone, who’s different.

Say this all happened years ago, and you think by now everyone’s over it. Then your transgender friend does his first drag performance, and someone who’s known about this friend for years—someone who’s supposed to love and respect you unconditionally—says, “when will it make up its mind?” That can throw you into a funk for a weekend.

Thing is, no matter how far you come with the people you love, there’s still some more to go. Unless everyone you know is marching alongside you in the transgender pride march—and sometimes even then—there’s going to be strife. Sometimes you’re aware of it and can sidestep it. Sometimes it blindsides you out of left field.

There are two things to remember when this happens. One, if you feel ostracized, just imagine how the transgender person who got you into this community feels. Two—you are not alone. There are tons of transgender allies out there, and they are all facing the same kinds of things in their daily lives. In fact, that’s why this blog exists.

Monday, November 16, 2009

TDOR 2009

It’s that time of year again. In just a couple days, Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremonies and activities will be taking place everywhere. This is probably the most depressing queer action/activism day ever, but it’s something that many transfolk and their allies view as important and necessary, and consequently, take very seriously.

Transgender Day of Remembrance—TDOR for short—is a day that focuses on transgender people who lost their lives because of prejudice. Every year, an untold number of unique gender-variant lives are lost because of bigotry. Sometimes, people are victims of hate crimes; other times, they take their own lives because they are victims of depression, bullying, harassment, sexual assault, violence, or other forms of hatred. Other times, the death is a long, horrifying story; for example, some transgender people have died due to complications with AIDS after being refused treatment from several medical facilities based on their gender identities and presentations. Being transgender in itself is NOT DANGEROUS; hatred is.

The point of TDOR is to honor the unique lives that were cut short by hatred, and also to protest the fact that we lose human lives for such a ridiculous thing as transphobia in the first place. TDOR events come in many forms, but all of them incorporate a way to remember the people who died unnecessarily in the past year. My college gay-straight alliance is going to hold a “die-in” in our school cafeteria in order to raise awareness of the issue during the day; at night, we are going to hold a Reading of the Names Ceremony. During this Ceremony, participants spend a moment in the shoes of those that have been lost, reading their life—and death—stories in the first person aloud in front of everyone. The experience is very powerful for everyone attending, especially the reader. These are two activities that are widely used in many organizations’ versions of TDOR events.

Chances are, you can find a TDOR event near you using the internet. TDOR is generally held in late November order to honor Rita Hester, a 1998 hate crimes victim, but there are TDOR events on many different days. Look for a way to get involved and for more information—and of course, if you care to share your story, you can do so on this blog!

2009 names list.
TDOR info, courtesy of Connecticut’s Transadvocacy Organization.

Monday, November 9, 2009

National March for Equality


So, about a month ago, there was a big huge march on Washington for queer rights. People wanted gay marriage legalized, of course, but there were a bunch of other things brought up over and over again—repealing the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy of the army, calling for support for ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would make it illegal to fire transfolk or disabled people on the basis of those traits), and so on. Transgender rights may not have been at the top of the bill, but they were definitely on there, including everything from ENDA to healthcare to further educating the queer community. There were even several transgender or transgender-ally speakers at the rally at the end of the march, although their names escape me because everyone from Judy Shepard to Lady GaGa took a turn at the microphone. It was great to see the National March for Equality be so trans-inclusive.

At least on the surface. Although the organizers certainly did their best to include *everyone*, I couldn’t help but notice some discrepancies in the representation of the queer community that day. Sure, everyone and their mother—literally—had a sign that read “LGBT RIGHTS!” or something to that effect. But how were people reacting to transgender issues REALLY?

A pair of people near me in the beginning of the march started up a chant about not forgetting the T in LGBT. My roommate and I picked it up for a few turns, but no one else did, and the four of us soon died down until the next chant—something about marriage, something that the whole crowd joined in on. What was that about? Was it just my imagination, or were people paying far less attention to the transgender speakers—less fists in the air, less cheers, less rainbow flags waving their approval? The thing that really made the entire issue stand out for me was a kid about my age with a sign with the transgender symbol on it. The sign read simply, “what about me?”

Whether you’ve been a transgender ally for years, or you’re just reading that phrase for the first time today, you’ve probably noticed that transgender issues and ‘gay’ issues are different. Are the communities just different, or are they entirely separate? Is the queer world as inclusive of transgender issues and interests as we would all like to think? Have you ever had an experience that would make you answer these questions one way or the other?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Why is My Sister a Boy Now?

When a loved one comes out as transgender, it’s hard to understand. They’ve lived their whole lives as the gender they were born into—why would they suddenly want to be the opposite one (or even more confusing, why would they suddenly invent a third gender?)? Are they mad at you or your family? Are they seeking attention? Is it a point they have to prove? Is it just a phase?

Coming out and transitioning (changing one’s appearance etc) is different for everyone. There are, however, a few practically universal tips you can keep in mind to help make the process easier for you, your transgender sibling, and the rest of your family.

ONE: It’s not that sudden. Sometimes your buzz-cut, makeup-phobic sister comes out as a guy and you go, “duh!” Other times, the news is a complete shock. Maybe she’s worn dresses and dated boys her whole life, and is suddenly unrecognizable to you. Remember, though: although it may feel like everything’s changed overnight, in reality your sibling has probably been dealing with this for years.

TWO: S/he’s still the same person. It may seem like a stranger has taken up residence in your sister’s room, but I assure you, the person you shared secrets with and stole Halloween candy from is still right there. Just because they look different doesn’t mean they have changed or their feelings for you or your family have changed.

THREE: It’s not about you. Often, someone will come out during a difficult time—a divorce, a family move. Coming out during a tough time is NOT a malicious move. It may mean the stress of the event on top of the ‘secret’ was too much to take; it may mean they want to start this new phase of your lives with a more open identity. Whatever the reason, it’s not about attention or upsetting you.

FOUR: Ignoring it won’t make it go away. The only thing you will accomplish by refusing to acknowledge or respect the change is making your sibling feel more alienated than s/he probably already does. Do your best (no one’s perfect!) to respect the new pronouns (and name if there is one). Doing this will help your sibling feel safe and appreciated.

FIVE: They still need you. Coming out is hard. The fact that they’ve talked to you means they trust you, value you, and want you in their life. It’s hard to understand, but do your best to keep an open mind. You’ve no idea the gift you’ll be giving just by being there.

Monday, October 19, 2009

College Dresscode: No Cross-Dressing

So. A college is banning cross-dressing. In 2009. College.

Morehouse College (an “all-male” school) has put together an “Appropriate Attire Policy” that includes everything you’d expect a dress code to have: no hats or sunglasses in buildings, no pajamas or sagging pants. Oh, and no wearing feminine clothing.

I’m really wary of any college that feels the need to put out a dress code for its students. I’m extremely wary of something so blatantly transphobic as a dress code that disallows people who have certain sexual organs to dress in ways associated with other sexual organs. My favorite part is that students who break the policy will be denied access to class, and people who do it often enough will be suspended. Frequently, an argument for dress codes is that it allows students to focus on their studies. Are these studies only useful to people who dress the way the President of the College does? I’ve heard higher education be referred to as brainwashing, but damn.

According to one article, the school’s gay-straight alliance is not against the policy.

Granted, gender variance is probably not as expected and accepted in Georgia as it is in New England. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, though—just that transfolk who are born and raised in areas that are less accepting are even more closeted and, most likely, feel even more isolated. This kind of rule is just one example of the myriad of ways that this isolation, and the feeling of shame that often accompanies being in the closet, is enforced and upheld by society in general. We still have a lot of work to do if we’re ever going to get to a point where freedom of expression is more than just a liberal ideal.

I recently heard on the radio about a similar situation in a high school. I’ll try to look that up ASAP. In the meantime, here is the link to the article. I’d love to hear some response to this!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

It's A Boy! It's A Girl! It's a Human Being!

So… seems like all I’ve been posting about lately is depressing and/or full of legal and political jargon. Let’s try to aim for some casual, honest conversation in this post, shall we?

A coworker of mine is having a baby. She and her husband have had two girls, and now they are finally having a little boy to complete their ideal family. That, of course, was exactly what she was hoping for; the chance to raise children that were both male and female. She’s very close to her due date, and of course customers compliment her and ask her questions all the time. Therefore, I constantly hear about how lucky she is to have both boys and girls; how much harder it is to raise one than the other; how many things she’ll have to deal with for one that she won’t have to deal with for the other.

I always want to ask her why it’s so important. Why is it necessary to have both sexes in order to complete the ideal family? Why is the first question asked, about any baby, by any friend or relative, about its sex? Why is the answer to that question always accompanied with images of fresh paint, fuzzy blankets, stuffed animals, pacifiers—that only come in one of two colors? The gendering of a human being starts well before ze is even born. Clothes, name, toys; everything is chosen to suggest the gender of the baby, and with that, the expectations for hir future. Oh, she’s so pretty, what a great smile, she’ll be an actress or a model; oh, his eyes are so bright, he’s going to be smart, he’ll be a doctor or a lawyer. All this before ze realizes ze exists, let alone that ze has hir own identity! By the time ze realizes that, an identity has long been assigned.

Mothers are often offended when a stranger comments that her little boy is pretty or her little girl is handsome. To avoid this, they put tiny pink bows on girls’ heads and tiny blue socks on boys’ feet. They pierce girls’ ears before they can talk; they keep boys’ hair short no matter how hard it is to keep them sitting still.

Isn’t gender a sociological construct? Aren’t the non-physical differences between boys and girls purely created by society? Doesn’t just about everyone complain about sexism? Why, then, do we continue to create it? Why is it so much easier? Your turn. Tell us what you think!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Another Transgender Murder...

Another couple of transgender stabbings, one resulting in a death, in Washington DC—and this on the tail of the Lateisha Green situation. I don’t know much about the Washington case yet; a friend sent me a link to this short newspaper article. We’ll definitely have to talk about the Lateisha Green trial in a future post; there’s much more information floating around about that.

The sad fact is, transgender people are harassed, assaulted, or worse every day. This shouldn’t be happening, and someday, the senseless hurting and killing of transgender people everywhere is going to be a thing of the past. In the meantime, though, we have to do what we can to keep our transfolk, and ourselves, as safe as possible.

There’s a phrase that comes up time and again at transgender-related meetings, in public speeches, and during various transgender events (especially Day of Remembrance): pray for the dead, and fight like hell for the living. Every time something this horrible happens is of course a huge setback, an utterly unnecessary death, and another unique and beautiful life ended too soon. There is always a silver lining, though; in the face of such tragedies as these, our community can come together, support one another, and work even harder to find ways to stop these needless attacks from occurring again.

Talking about it won’t save those we’ve lost, but raising awareness may help us to prevent these kinds of tragedies from affecting our community in the future. What are some ways that you can protect yourself in the event of an attack? Have you ever taken a self-defense course, or do you carry some form of protection (a weapon, pepper spray, a whistle)? Are the transgender or gender variant people in your life similarly prepared?

How are you honoring those we have lost? How are you going to continue to 'fight like hell' for the rights and safety of the living that remain behind to honor them?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

ENDA moves into the Senate!


So, the HRC blog (www.hrcbackstory.org) has announced that ENDA has passed in the House and moved on to the Senate. It seems ENDA has never made it this far before? If ENDA passes the Senate (WHEN—let’s be optimistic here), the two chambers will compare notes (in case one group amends it a different way than the other) and then send it off to the President. President Obama has promised to sign this bill into law if it reaches his desk, so, here’s hoping!

The blog includes some great quotes from the senators sponsoring the bill, including:

“There is no place in the workplace for employment discrimination. No worker in America should be fired or denied a job based on who they are.” Senator Merkley (D-OR), who also intends to “guarantee every America, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, the right to earn a living.”

“The promise of America will never be fulfilled as long as justice is denied to even one among us. ENDA brings us closer to fulfilling that promise…” Senator Kennedy (D-MA).

“… ENDA would close an important gap in federal civil rights laws by making it illegal to discriminate in employment.” Senator Collins (R-ME), who also acknowledges that ENDA “affirms the principle that individuals should be judged on their skills and abilities, and not by who they are” when it comes to work.

There is no quote listed by Olympia Snowe (R-ME), but she is the fourth sponsor of ENDA in the Senate.

I know there are a lot of mixed feelings about HRC in the transgender community, and a lot of hard feelings as well, but regardless of what they’ve done in the past, they are working to help the community now. The HRC can be a great resource at times, and the HRC blog offers a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the ongoing, many-faceted fight for equality for all queer people.

HRC offers more information and stats on ENDA (did you know that it’s legal to fire someone for being gay in 29 states, and legal to fire someone for being trans in almost 40 out of 50??), and also offers a quick-and-easy way to contact your Senators and ask them for help. Just go to www.PassENDANow.org and enter your name and address. Personalizing your message is optional, and HRC will sort out which senators should get your message for you. It takes literally ten seconds—I’ve done it already, and you can too!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Matthew Shepard Act Passes!

Years ago, Matthew Shepard was robbed, beaten into a coma, and left to die hanging on a fence post outside Laramie, Wyoming. I’ve had the pleasure and honor of meeting Judy Shepard, Matthew’s mom, who tours the country speaking out against hate crimes at colleges, offices, and other locations. Matthew’s attackers were not tried under hate crime laws; for this reason, as well as the fact that both Matthew and Judy are huge icons for the queer community, the new GLBT-inclusive hate crimes law is unofficially referred to in his honor (the bill’s ‘real’ title, “Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009,” is much longer and much less meaningful).

The bill will expand the standing hate crimes law (which hasn’t changed much since 1969 when it was first signed into law) to include gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, and disability. Currently, crimes committed on the basis of these traits—such as the murder of Matthew Shepard, as well as the murders of those individuals honored every Transgender Day of Remembrance—are not considered hate crimes. That means the murderers are not tried under hate crime laws, which call for harsher punishments and the involvement of federal authorities. Without hate crime laws, local authorities can simply choose to ‘look the other way.’ This bill will stop that practice, and will also require the FBI to track information and publish statistics on hate crimes against transgender people, which it currently does not do (although it does for other groups). Lastly, this bill will provide funding for the investigations of hate crimes against GLBT and disabled people.

This bill is different from ENDA, which makes it illegal to discriminate against GLBT and disabled people in the workplace; however, it follows the same basic principles of looking at these groups of people as equals worthy of equal protections, rather than as second-class citizens as many people in these groups currently feel.

The bill was passed just a few days ago, and is on its way to President Obama, who has pledged to sign it into law!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What is ENDA Up to Now?

The ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) bill calls for equal protection for queer and disabled people in the workplace. For the queer community, ENDA would place ‘sexual orientation,’ ‘gender identity,’ and ‘gender expression’ on the list of traits that employers cannot discriminate against. ENDA can help our community in more than just workplace protection; this could help get the ball rolling on hate crime legislation, and would also help enable queer people to share their work benefits with their partners and families.

ENDA has been around for a long time— maybe fifteen years?—but it wasn’t close to passing until 2007, the year that saw the first Democratic majority in Congress in roughly a million years (or eight, who’s counting?). The Human Rights Campaign, who was spearheading the bill at the time, figured that the bill would have a higher chance of being passed without the word ‘transgender’ in the mix, because it was so controversial. For the benefit of the majority, the HRC dropped the minority ‘T’ from ‘GLBT,’ with good intentions that sparked a huge outrage in the trans community. The us-versus-them debate that broke out in the queer community as a result of that single legal move was phenomenal, and many heads are arguably still reeling from the impact.

If ENDA’s been around for virtually forever, what’s the big deal now? For one thing, the topic of protection against sexual orientation discrimination has been appearing in Congress again and again since the seventies, if not earlier, and is finally being debated NOW. For another, President Obama has pledged to sign this bill into law—if it passes both Houses.

A trans-inclusive ENDA is currently being debated in the House. Right now, the topic of queer discrimination is up to state lawmakers. Twelve states have adopted or developed their own version of ENDA that protects GLBT people in the workplace; seven more states have ‘sexual orientation’ protection only. The law, when passed, will make non-discrimination a national policy. ENDA will not apply to religious organizations (duh), small (as in, family-owned) businesses, or (of course) the military. It will, however, make it a whole lot harder to deny employment or the benefits that come with it to queer applicants. This is especially important to the transgender community; many transfolk have been denied jobs on the basis of their gender identity, and even those who are out in their workplaces are often unable to fully enjoy benefits such as healthcare that their coworkers are able to take advantage of.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Chastity Bono comes out as Chaz Bono

Okay, I’ll admit it: the other day, when I heard that Chastity Bono (offspring of the famous Sonny and Cher duo) publicly came out as male-identified Chaz Bono, my first thought was, ‘here we go.’ Transitioning, even coming out as transgender, is very personal and oftentimes very difficult; can you even imagine how much more difficult it must be as a celebrity whose every move will undoubtedly be scrutinized by anyone and everyone with access to a sounding board?

I put off researching the news for a couple days because I wanted to write a ‘welcome-to-the-community’ post, not a ‘oh-look-we’ve-been-bashed-in-the-news-again’ post, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to find. When I finally did punch a couple words into a couple search engines, though, the results impressed me; I really couldn’t find any negative press about it. There’s a lot of pronoun-swapping and confused vocabulary, but no apparent intentional disrespect unless you actively search for it. And why do THAT?

To date, Chaz himself has not submitted to an interview on the topic; blogs and news clips all over the internet hail him as the new face of the transgender community even as they admit that Chaz seems intent to keep his transition as private as possible. Howard Bragman, a spokesperson for the family, confirmed the coming out story and Chaz’s wish for privacy, adding, “it is Chaz’s hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue,” just as his coming out as a lesbian nearly two decades ago helped bring lesbianism into public view.

Candis Cayne, transgender actress and activist, has spoken out in support of Chaz (view the clip here), and of course in support of the entire transgender community. Queer and transgender activist and support groups all over have similarly put out public messages of support.

A lot of those groups are congratulating Chaz on ‘living authentically’ or ‘taking the next step,’ which (perhaps only when taken out of context in a news article) seems to imply that transitioning is necessary or that everyone transitions in the same way. This is certainly not true; just as everyone handles gender differently, so will anyone who identifies as transgender or otherwise gender-variant approach the idea of transitioning differently. Transitioning—indeed, even coming out— is not right for everyone, but it is just as important to support those who take that path as those who take different ones. So, from all of us to you, Chaz: good for you, for doing what’s right for YOU.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

TLDEF Benefit for the Name Change Project


The Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) is dedicated to helping transfolk achieve equality. TLDEF seeks to end discrimination against transgender people, and works on everything from national healthcare to fighting employment discrimination to individual legal cases. TLDEF creatively forms partnerships with other legal groups in order to offer helpful programs that many transgender individuals would not have access to otherwise.

One such project is the Name Change Project, which provides free legal name changes to transgender people who cannot afford it. As many of us know, changing one’s legal name is a huge step for a person who is transitioning. Many transgender people spend months or even years living with a new name, and getting the legal recognition of that new identity allows that identity to be acknowledged in ways that it was not before. A driver’s licenses, employment applications, etc. must show one’s legal name, which can sometimes be a painful or embarrassing topic for a transgender person.

Getting one’s friends and family members to embrace a new name is hard enough; legally changing one’s name involves courts, judges, and fees that are intimidating at best. The Name Change Project provides free lawyers for transgender people seeking legal name changes, and will even pay for the name change fee if the person is unable. At the moment, this great resource is only available in New York; hopefully, the Name Change Project or similar initiatives will become available in other areas soon!

Every year, TLDEF holds a Benefit to help raise funds for programs such as the Name Change Project, which has helped over 250 people since its beginnings almost two years ago. The benefit is to be held at the Vlada Lounge in New York City on June 16th. Join TLDEF for cocktails and conversation in order to raise money for the Project!

The cheapest ticket you can buy is $25, the “fixed income” price. Those of us who make minimum wage might find this cost of admission to a cocktail social a bit steep, but remember, the money is going to a terrific cause.

Even if you can’t get to the benefit, it’s good to know that resources like this are out there for our transgender friends, children, lovers and family members!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Trans Pride: Washington DC


I know most of you are probably based in New England like me, but I thought I’d pass along the fact that the Washington DC Trans Pride event is tomorrow! I didn’t even hear about this until today, so don’t feel bad if you didn’t know!

The point of the event is to “celebrate the Washington DC metro area Transgender community,” although since it’s being held in DC (Madison Hotel) it kind of doubles as an affirmation for all of us. Perhaps surprisingly, this event has been going on for the past THIRTY-FOUR years. The theme this year is “Generations of Pride: Celebrate and Remember—Stonewall at 40,” embracing the common theme of GLBT events this year and this June especially. The event schedule and registration ($10) is available online! (Check out http://www.capitaltranspride.org/)Apparently they’ve taken a lot of new steps this year to ensure that it runs smoothly and is better than ever before, so if you happen to be able to check it out, let the rest of us know what it was like!

If you know of any upcoming trans pride or educational events, lectures, and so on, please please please don’t hesitate to post about them or send me an email so that I can. We want to keep communicating, and pride events offer an opportunity like no other to do just that!

Connecticut Pride is ALSO tomorrow, and although not specifically Trans-targeted, it’ll undoubtedly be a good time and a great networking opportunity. Anyone going, feel free to let us know how it was!

Friday, April 17, 2009

April 18 2009: THLC

Guess what tomorrow is!

The third (I think?) annual Transgender Health and Law Conference!

I’m thinking I’ll get all kinds of inspiration and whatnot from the conference tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll be updating more often after that. I know, I know, I’ve been promising you that for a year now. In fact, the Health and Law Conference played a huge role in convincing me to finally go ahead and start this blog.

Hopefully, the other thing I’ll find at the conference tomorrow is some potential blog partners—writers, readers, generally interested parties…?

Well, here’s hoping. At the very least I’m sure I’ll run into all kinds of new and interesting ideas and arguments to have fun with here. I did at the True Colors Conference in March, too!

I’ll be sure to share those too. You know. Eventually.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Self-Expression: America's Pastime

This morning, you woke up and got ready for work or school- whichever it was that was going to occupy your life for the next few hours. You might have showered, and spent some time in the mirror fixing up your hair. Your hair may be its natural color, or it may be dyed- black to hide your age, purple to show off your spirit, auburn to complement your complexion. Whether your hair is dyed or not, it is most certainly cut a certain way- short to keep it out of the way, long to show off its natural bounce. It may be permed, layered, styled, or in dreads. Whatever it is, it looks that way because you want it to; your hair is a reflection of your style, and your style is a reflection of yourself. That’s why you checked it at least once in the mirror today.

Besides your hairstyle is, of course, your wardrobe. Fashion is really a fascinating aspect of American society; no two people, it seems, own the same shirt, and if they do they wear it in utterly different ways. The way you dress is also a reflection of yourself; how professional you are, or how playful; how creative, or how traditional; how flashy, or how conservative. For many of us, the actual clothing is just the beginning of our wardrobe; we must then find the right shoes and accessories, which can range from a simple necklace or tie to fourteen piercings and four shades of eyeshadow.

America is in love with self-expression. Admit it; you want a tattoo. You know someone, who knows someone, who got silicone horns implanted in his forehead, or a raised music note added to the back of her hand. You probably know that “getting a cutting done” refers to getting a professional to cut a design into the skin so that the healed marks make a statement for years to come. At the very least- if any or all of these ideas shock you- you’re disappointed when the cashier at the grocery store doesn’t have stickers all over hir nametag.

Self-expression through physical appearance. We all do it. Some of us spend embarrassing amounts of time and money on it.

So why- in a culture obsessed with originality, body modification, standing out, and hair dye- why is it so hard to be a person whose gender expression does not quite match hir birth-assigned physical sex?