Kids Say The Darndest Things

So, the other day, I took my girlfriend to an appointment. This is not unusual. What was different was hearing the words, “is that a girl?” the second we stepped off the elevator. Being me, I naturally whipped around ready for a fight. I’m a little touchy about these things, you know? Not about the gender of my partner—that’s a whole different story, one I’m sure we’ll get to—but about strangers applying gender labels to people they’ve never even spoken to. When I realized the speaker must have been about seven years old, though, I relaxed considerably.

Little kids have this habit of saying whatever they think; society hasn’t taught them to have a filter yet. Very little kids also tend to act, dress, and play the way they want to—regardless of gender roles. As kids grow, they begin to feel the pressures of society around them; girls start playing house because they want to be like their mothers, while boys play catch outside to get Dad’s attention. Seriously, you can google all kinds of studies on this stuff. People—not just transgender people, either—have been fascinated by children’s abilities to resist social pressures for a very long time. Most sociologists agree that gender-based behaviors are not ingrained; they are learned.

The kid’s mother didn’t really take a stance on the matter. She didn’t explain to her daughter that gender has many forms, but she didn’t use us as an example of the devil’s work, either. I’ll take it as a draw.

I know I’m not the only one who’s ever had experience with a little kid and gender; in fact, I’ve got several stories left to share. But what about you? Have you ever explained a friend’s transition to a five-year-old? Fascinating stuff, isn’t it?