The Bi/Trans/Pans Debate: Why Respecting Everyone Matters

I have a lot of queer friends. We have a lot of interesting conversations about identity and legality and how crazy the world is. I recently got to witness a conversation that exemplified, at least to us, why this whole bi-trans debate (you know; does the term ‘bisexual’ negate transfolk and uphold the gender binary?) is really unnecessary. The setup: a lesbian, a bisexual, a pansexual and a transsexual (all terms used generally) walk into the room (we were not at a bar, but you can pretend). The lesbian and bisexual are dating, are both female, and are very affectionate; whenever they get caught in a PDA moment, someone inevitably goes “ewwwwww, lesbians!” At first it was funny, but after a while, the bisexual friend in question starting voicing how this actually made her feel uncomfortable and overlooked because it entirely undermined her bisexual identity. And some people were like, oh right. Our bad. But some other people were like, get over it, you’re a lesbian right now.

Cue the pansexual (female presenting) and transsexual (male presenting), who are also dating and are also fairly affectionate, but get less teasing from the general group. During one of THEIR recent PDA moments, the bisexual friend interjected, “ewwwwww, breeders!” Everyone laughed, but the pansexual girl, who may or may not actually be me, was like, oh hell no. Saying that entirely undermines my queer identity. And people were like, oh right. Our bad.

The bisexual friend said nothing, just let it sink it. One by one, the members of our little group realized that if we’re going to respect one queer’s preferred identity label, we’re going to have to respect another’s, too. We haven’t had our next group get-together yet, but I’m willing to bet there will be far fewer lesbian jokes aimed at my clever bisexual friend.

Moral of the story: There is no queer hierarchy, no right or wrong way to be who you are. We all identify differently because that difference makes us beautiful; respecting that difference makes our friendships beautiful. Don’t overlook identities you don’t understand; you never know when it’s going to come back to you.

Two-Spirit Film Could Win PBS Award

So PBS does this thing called Independent Lens, where they feature and focus on independent films. As far as I understand, once a film is shown, viewers get to vote on what the best one was, and the audience favorite will get special support and recognition from the program. One of the films up is called “Two Spirits.” Need I say more? Probably not. But here are some links if you’re interested.
Movie information and trailer: http://twospirits.org/
PBS site to vote on (click on the stars): http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/award/
The film is about one specific Native American hate crime victim and the history of two-spirit culture. I haven’t seen it myself, but how cool would it be if a film about trans experience won the Independent Lens Audience Award this year? Just saying. Get clicking!

Treatments of GID: What Does This Mean for Us?

Talking about GID always bends one’s mind a bit. Is it really a disorder? Is it fair to define a trans person as mentally ill before they can pursue surgery? Isn’t the fact that GID is still understood as a medical disorder partly to blame for transphobia?

Needless to say there are a lot of articles floating around about this. There are plenty of arguments to be made, but a lot of writers do a pretty shoddy job of explaining what GID is and where it came from in the process. I’ve been thinking a lot about language and what it does to us versus what we do to it, in terms of culture in general and the trans community in particular, since my last post about that mildly atrocious article. This article isn’t atrocious—it’s respectful and treats some common misconceptions—but there are two ideas presented that I’d like to hear reactions on.

One is the presentation of GID as a mysterious and “serious, often deadly” illness, most notably in the beginning paragraphs; later, GID is even compared to skin cancer. The author implies that having GID leads to suicide and essentially blames the condition of being trans, not the diagnosis, for the hardships a trans person may face (depression, unemployment, etc). Depression and suicide are not symptoms of GID so much as natural reactions to society’s treatment of trans individuals. To not make that distinction is almost akin to blaming trans individuals for these situations and implies that all transfolk have depression due to this “illness” they apparently combat.

This brings me to my second observation: the blatant acceptance of the gender binary. The article claims that a trans person’s “brain growth follows one gender track while their bodies follow another” during development. That kind of thinking discredits any kind of non-binary gender in existence and undermines anyone not interested in pursuing a traditional physical transition to what some would view its “completion”.

The article isn’t brand new, but was posted as helpful to someone new to the concept. If you’ve never heard the term before, this article DOES simplify the concept greatly. Which is helpful, but also harmful; are these the ideas we want to be associated with?

Veterans Health Administration Regulates Care of Transgender Veterans

As of June 9th, the 950 hospitals and clinics connected to the Veterans Health Administration are all required to provide the same level of adequate and sensitive healthcare to transgender veterans. These health care centers will not be providing sex reassignment surgery, but WILL connect veterans to counseling, hormone therapy, and post-operative care as a regular occurrence. Personnel at these centers are also required to refer to all transgender and intersex patients, in conversation AND in medical records, using their preferred gender pronouns rather than their assigned sex pronouns.

A lot of these standards sound like common sense to us, but they’re a big deal to the transgender veterans affected by the new protocol. According to some online testimonies, some transgender veterans receiving care through the Veterans Health Administration have been able to pursue hormone therapy, while others are denied even basic, non-trans-specific healthcare. This new standard means that ALL health care centers, clinics, and hospitals will provide a higher standard of care to transgender veterans. You may cheer a little if you like.

** Side note: I’d usually accompany this type of post with a news article, but the one I saw contains language that is questionable at best and has actually inspired me to write a letter to the author (but more on that later). I googled for an alternative, but none are immediately apparent. You can search yourself, but I won’t promote an article insensitive to the identities of the people it reports on. **

The Sex Binary

Someone posted this picture on Facebook, and someone else mentioned a news story about a family raising their infant without any gender assignments, “and not telling friends/family if the newest baby is male or female.” So of course I opened my mouth to politely point out that “the baby might not be male or female in the first place, don’t forget!” Just to say it, because sometimes there has to be someone to stand up against accidental ignorance. Which is perfectly okay; no one can know everything about everything.

Of course, this person thought they did know things, and said the “whole point” of the diagram is that sex—which is male or female—is separate from gender. And online I nicely explained that some people don’t fit either category at birth, like intersex people for example, and that “the idea that there are only two physical sexes is a common misconception,” and suggested a documentary or something… but in my room I was like *headdesk headdesk headdesk*.

Because I knew what was coming, and come it did: “anyone born with a vagina is female, and with a penis is male… unless he/she is a hermaphrodite.” And then I got aggravated and pulled apart everything—that some people transition, that some DO use sex words to describe their genders, that “hermaphrodite” isn’t really PC or sensitive, that saying “he/she” further undermines anyone who doesn’t fit the binary, etc. Still politely, and then I politely excused myself before the friend whose page it was got overly tired of us both. And maybe I didn’t get all the terms right either (no one can know everything!), but I feel like I’d be open to someone telling me about a new one. I feel like that’s all we can, and do, ask for; be open to someone telling you that there’s more to the story than you learned in high school biology or psychology.

IN SHORT: gender is only half the battle. The idea that there is an either-or SEX binary overlooks hundreds of people and is the root of the problematic belief that there is an either-or GENDER binary in the first place. In reality neither of these is true and it’s time we start including EVERYONE in our everyday language.

Fox News Attacks Chaz Bono

I saw this on a friend’s facebook earlier today and was floored. Really? Still? The article is horribly judgmental—talking about medical transitions as “bending reality to conform to a person’s psychosis.” Granted this is an opinion held by many, but to see it in a “news” article is something else entirely. Of course, it’s FOX news, which isn’t exactly news in the first place. Regardless of where it is, articles like this can really hurt the trans cause and community. This article is TOTALLY missing the entire social experience of being transgender and totally overlooking the fact that gender is not an either-or binary mandated by sex—otherwise ALL women would dress the exact same way. No doubt Dr. Ablow skipped a few sessions of his Intro to Sociology courses in college.

I guess the occassional reminder of how much stupid there is in the world helps us focus on what has to be done…? Trying to be optimistic here.

Another thing you can do as a trans ally— write in to places that publish pieces like this and tell them just how wrong they are!

Professional Sports Team-- "It Gets Better"

The San Francisco Giants are going to be the first professional sports team to make an “It Gets Better” video. That’s the baseball team that won the World Series—I didn’t know either, I just know people who like sports or something. Apparently there was a change.org petition circulating requesting the team to be the first to make a video—but, publicists assure us, they were already planning on it anyway.
So yeah. Story here!